The Demon Lord of Kitty Badness (and his human Sharon Ashwood) at The Chatty Cat Cafe

Posted by Susanne Saville at Wednesday, January 14, 2009 1:34 AM

Today's interview subject in The Chatty Cat Cafe will not be needing a caffeinated beverage.   With no further ado, <drum roll> an introduction to the Demon Lord of Kitty Badness by his human, Sharon Ashwood:

The DLKB came into my life several months after a very, very dear pet passed away. My other cat, an older female, didn’t like being alone so I went to the Society for Prevention of Cruelty to Animals to find her a young companion. They didn’t have any little kittens, just one who was almost a year old. As I walked into the adoption area he leapt up onto the scratching post and stretched tall to try and meet me. Of course, I was smitten.
 
The down side was that he was sick with an eye infection, kitty flu, and ringworm. He was also a kitten that had been “in care” since he was found wandering around at about eight weeks old. He’d never had a stable home and had never learned good manners. Yeah, I’m a sucker for a sob story.

He’s healthy now, affectionate, and has calmed down after a year of steady meals and quasi-firm training, but the “Demon Kitty” name was well earned over the last twelve months! He’s one smart boy, and if there’s trouble, he’ll find it.

The Demon Lord speaks:

Do you like milk?

Definitely, especially if someone else is trying to drink it at the time. What I don’t understand is why humans pour milk over their kibble and eat it with a spoon. What’s the problem with a bowl on the floor?

In your feline opinion, what is the most annoying thing about your owner? The best thing?

My owner has poor skills at prioritization, and wastes time on the darnedest things:

The Other Cat.

The glowing box on her desk.

Vacuuming up my carefully displayed litter art from the bathroom floor.

And worst of all, she tries to hug me! How can I do my Demon Kitty thing when she’s got me all squished?

On the plus side, she does play chase-the-laser-dot with me. Oh, and sometimes she gives me fish.

What do you do while your owner is trying to write?

I get up on the desk and help her. She especially appreciates it when I unroll the tape dispenser. I think she finds picking the tape out of my fur relaxing. 

OMG, I can't stop laughing!     Ahem.  Okay.  Whom do you hold responsible for the myth that kitties are all cuteness and light? 

The myth of sweetness and light is carefully planted off-world propaganda. Cats are actually parasitic aliens who have infiltrated human homes to ensure a steady supply of food and warm cushions.
 
If you could read one of your owner's books, which one would it be and why?

I would recommend RAVENOUS. I’ve chewed several drafts and found the paper stock to be of excellent quality.

As for the plot itself, humans will like the story of a witch who finally comes into her power, going toe-to-toe with the vampire queen and defeating an evil demon. There’s a sexy vampire love interest that my owner sighs over, and so she should. I think he’s just a cat in a people suit. He’s definitely got the hunter vibe going.

I do think the witch’s cat should have had more lines, though.

For more about Sharon Ashwood, please visit her website: http://www.sharonashwood.com/

Sharon's blog: http://www.sharonashwood.com/daily-strange/

And, despite being the Demon Lord of Kitty Badness, our feline guest has very kindly offered to give away a copy of RAVENOUS to one of today's commenters!  RAVENOUS is coming out February 2009 from Signet Eclipse - be one of the first to read it!